To me, there are few things worse than living with the perception of winning on the outside while at the same time knowing you are losing on the inside. I’ve been there. I lived a life that was slowly eroding while the outside world thought I was winning. But to the man in the mirror, I knew I was a fake. I was not authentic. I knew I was not living to my full potential. I was only living a fraction of the life I could live. I chased comfort and became complacent. Discipline was far from me. I did not like the man I had become.
The change started with a bad blood test in April of 2019. In May 2019, I attended the Echelon Front Muster event in Chicago with Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. During morning PT, I realized what I needed to do. It was time to turn things around, beginning with my physical health. I began working out and changing my eating habits. Several months later, I joined the Fraternity of Excellence, a group of men striving to be high-value men in every area of life. This was like fuel on the fire for me. The help I received gave me insight into what I needed to do to become a better man. I set out on the path to becoming a better man, and I’ve been on it ever since.
I have since transformed myself physically, mentally, and spiritually. I’ve had a few bumps in the road, a near-death car crash, and some personal loss with the death of my dad, but I am still on that path. With God’s strength, I will continue improving every day. My daily question is, “What am I doing today to be a little better than the man in the mirror yesterday?”
On my journey, I’ve discovered that the men who develop daily discipline are the men who achieve their goals. I wish I could give other men a pill or a shot in the arm so they could automatically be disciplined. I wish I had the silver bullet. I am still trying to figure that out. So I stay focused on leading by example and sharing my experiences. Men of Grit is about me sharing what I learn on my journey to spur other men on to a better life. But it is also about bringing men together so they, too, can share lessons learned. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Here are three things that have helped me develop the daily discipline to become a stronger man physically, mentally, and spiritually.
The Power of Pain
I’ve walked the path of comfort – and I’ve felt the cost. A life chasing ease breeds complacency, and complacency erodes strength. I became undisciplined. I became susceptible to destructive habits. I was living in weakness. My marriage suffered. My example to my son fell short. I was not the man God called me to be—and I knew it. That truth cut deep.
“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.” — 1 Corinthians 9:24
I could feel it in myself: I was not a man worthy of respect. I saw it in my own eyes each morning in the mirror. I did not respect myself – and it showed in every area of my life. I don’t ever want to forget that pain. I keep the memory alive because I have found power in it. That pain drives me forward when others give up or lose their way.
Many days, I still don’t feel like doing the hard work required to be a stronger man. But all I have to do is remember who I was – and where I almost stayed. I remember the weakness, the shame, the emptiness – and it pushes me to take action.
“But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” — 2 Chronicles 15:7
Those were dark days. It is painful to live in a way you cannot respect. And yet, that pain has become my weapon. It drives me to be disciplined, to fight, to grow, to lead my family well, to be a man worthy of respect. I am grateful for where I am today – but I carry yesterday with me, because there are times when I need to take a look in the rearview mirror, and doing so keeps me moving forward.
The pain of yesterday fuels the man I am becoming today. I will never go back. I will never settle. I will never stop striving to be the man God created me to be.
The Power of Peers
“As Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
The men we surround ourselves with matter. The voices we listen to matter.
“Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” — 1 Corinthians 15:33
Take an honest look at the men you spend your time with.
Look at their lives – their discipline, their habits, their marriages, their faith, their strength. Then ask yourself the hard questions most men avoid:
Is this an example of the life I want?
Where are they going?
What direction are they actually moving?
And are they moving at a pace that will take me where God is calling me to go?
“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” — Proverbs 13:20
For me, I knew something had to change.
The transformation God was calling me to required more than comfort and talk. It required total commitment. I’ve never seen real change come from half-hearted effort – and Scripture backs that up.
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” — Colossians 3:23
When I looked around, I saw too many men content with the status quo. Men drifting with culture instead of standing firm in truth. Men who spoke about growth but weren’t willing to endure discipline. They weren’t becoming stronger – they were standing still. And I knew staying among them would keep me where I was.
So I chose differently.
I chose to associate with men who were driven. Men who were sharpening themselves. Men who weren’t satisfied with weakness or spiritual apathy. Men who took responsibility for their lives and their walk with God.
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” — Proverbs 27:17
But here’s what I learned shortly after joining them:
When you surround yourself with high-caliber men, there is no room to coast. Strong men don’t wait on comfort-seekers. They move forward, they take action, and they expect the same from anyone who chooses to run with them.
“Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.” — Hebrews 10:24
You cannot drag yourself along with men who are climbing. If you’re not growing, you’re slowing everyone down. Serious men won’t stick around dead weight – not out of ego, but because momentum matters. It’s not about perfection; it’s about showing up, putting in the effort, and actually moving forward – not just talking about it.
You must commit to the climb: from weak to strong, from passive to disciplined, from complacent to obedient.
If you don’t, you’ll be left behind – not because you weren’t welcome, but because you refused to act.”
Choose your circle wisely.
Walk with strong men.
Sharpen your edge.
And do not be the dead weight.
The Power of Purpose
Why am I here? What am I striving for?
There is real strength in living with purpose.
Today, I see life differently. I see it as a whole – body, mind, and spirit. A man cannot be all he was created to be unless he is strong in every area. Physical strength, mental clarity, spiritual depth – they are inseparable.
I know why I am here. I have been saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. God pulled me from the edge of destruction and set me on a path of purpose. He gave my life value. He called me to live fully – not half-heartedly, not for comfort – but with all my heart, all my mind, all my spirit, and all my strength.
“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” — Ephesians 2:10
I am saved by grace, not by works. But I am saved to live for Him, to do good, to honor Him in every decision, in every action, in every word.
I have written my mission statement: “Honor God, be true to the man in the mirror and be a rock for those around me.”
To live this mission, by God’s grace and in His power I strive to constantly improve – physically, mentally, and spiritually. Strength is not optional; it is required. To honor God, I must be strong in the Lord. To lead others, I must be steadfast in faith. To influence, I must be unwavering in conviction.
I must remain faithful to the man God created me to be. This means I will not bow to the fear of man, nor let the opinions or expectations of others define me. I will not chase validation at the cost of my authenticity. I will be true to the man in the mirror, the man God created me to be in this world.
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” — Philippians 2:3
If I live this way, I become a rock – a steady example for my family, my friends, my community. Leadership begins at home, with discipline in the small things, and radiates outward. A man who cannot lead himself cannot lead others.
Every day, I work to move forward. I strive to cut out distractions, eliminate time-wasters, and focus only on what matters – what strengthens me, what honors God, what advances my mission. I don’t always to this well. But as I do, the result is I gain clarity, momentum, and progress.
Purpose drives action. Strength drives influence. And living intentionally drives a life that matters.
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” — Colossians 3:23
The Call to Action
So, where are you right now – stuck in Comfortable Complacency, or walking the path of Daily Discipline?
Let me be clear: if you’re still more comfortable than disciplined, tough times are coming. You might think you’re “okay,” but that’s only because you haven’t seen how good life can be when you step up and take control.
Here’s your challenge: look yourself in the mirror. One minute. Eye to eye. Be brutally honest. Do you respect the man staring back? Are you proud of the path you’re on? Where are the gaps – physically, mentally, spiritually?
Stop running from the truth. Embrace the pain – it is fuel for change. Surround yourself with men who are moving in the direction you want to go. Build a mission that gives your life purpose. Step into a life of discipline, strength, and honor.
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” — Proverbs 27:17
Brother, get on the path to a better life. Take action today. No one ever regrets the work it takes to become a man worth following.
Don’t know where to start?
Join the 40 day challenge starting in March. Click this link – https://menofgrit.com/40-day-challenge/
If you complete the 40 day challenge, you will be eligible to join the Men of Grit Brotherhood, opening in May. Click this link – https://menofgrit.com/brotherhood/
Thank you men for visiting MenofGrit.com
In your corner,
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.